Holding Hands

Adam approached God and asked, “Why did you create Eve?” God replied, “So that you may love her.”

“Why did you make her so beautiful? I can hardly take my eyes off her.” “So that you may love her.”

“Why did you make her so kind and considerate?” “So that you may love her.”

“But Lord, why did you make her so stupid?” “So that she may love you.”

This opening joke is just that. But like all good humour there’s more than a hint of truth in it, don’t you think?

If men are from Mars and women are from Venus why are we attracted to one another? Is it because Earth is the meeting place, lying midway between our planetary neighbours? Just kidding. But it is not a wonder that men and women sometimes have difficulty understanding one another. Fundamentally, we are different.

Einstein once said: “Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.”

Men and women are created equal but entirely different. As Woody Allen put it: “Men learn to love the woman they are attracted to. Women learn to become attracted to the man they fall in love with.” We all may speak the same language but we interpret the words differently.

Will men ever fully understand women? Will women ever fully understand men? Perhaps not, but there are many examples of where we have learned to live together. And as Neal Stephenson wrote in Snow Crash: “She’s a woman, you’re a dude. You’re not supposed to understand her. That’s not what she’s after . . . . She doesn’t want you to understand her. She knows that’s impossible. She just wants you to understand yourself. Everything else is negotiable.”

That may be a big ask. We can each strive to be ourselves. But will we ever truly understand ourselves. The deeper we look the more mysterious we become. But that shouldn’t stop us from looking. Life is relationship. Whether it be the relationship with our partner, our colleagues, our family, our friends, with nature, with ourselves . . . . It is all relationship and it is all a glorious mystery.

As Osho once said: ‘Life is a mystery to be lived, not a problem to be solved.’ Just live life. Don’t try to fix it. The problems keep coming. No point in looking for them. Just smile through them.

I’ll leave the last words to C. JoyBell C.: ‘The truth is that male or female, gay or straight— we are all people— we have all been broken and put back together in so many different ways . . . it’s really just about learning how to recognize the sound of the other one’s cracks.’

Radio host, librarian, inspirational speaker and health educator John Haines is the author of In Search of Simplicity: A True Story that Changes Lives and Beyond the Search, books to lift the spirit and touch the heart. See http://www.JohnHainesBooks.wordpress.com And In Search of Simplicty is now available as an eBook here.

“In Search of Simplicity is a unique and awe-inspiring way to re-visit and even answer some of the gnawing questions we all intrinsically have about the meaning of life and our true, individual purpose on the planet. I love this book.”

Barbara Cronin, Circles of Light. For the complete review visit: http://www.circlesoflight.com/blog/in-search-of-simplicity/

“In Search of Simplicity is one of those rare literary jewels with the ability to completely and simultaneously ingratiate itself into the mind, heart and soul of the reader.”

Heather Slocumb, Apex Reviews

“The author’s experiments and experiences working with nature simply amaze. . . . Beyond the Search is a treasure trove for those who enjoy planting and reaping as it seems nature intended, with respect for each animal and insect as belonging on the planet and therefore deserving of honour.”

Theresa Sjoquist on Suite 101