In her radio show, Dr Laura Schlesinger said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance.
The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, penned by a US resident, James M. Kauffman. It’s very funny, as well as informative. My only concern is that I’m a Canadian and a Kiwi and it might be that I can be sold into slavery. I may not sleep tonight. Do enjoy, John
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Dear Dr. Laura:
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination … End of debate.
I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God’s Laws and how to follow them.
1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?
2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of Menstrual uncleanliness – Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord – Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?
6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination, Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this? Are there ‘degrees’ of abomination?
7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?
8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?
9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I’m confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.
Your adoring fan.
James M. Kauffman, Ed.D. Professor Emeritus, Dept. Of Curriculum, Instruction, and Special Education –University of Virginia
P.S. It really would be a damn shame if we couldn’t own a Canadian.
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Radio host, inspirational speaker and health educator John Haines is the author of In Search of Simplicity: A True Story that Changes Lives, a startlingly poignant and inspiring real-life endorsement of the power of thought, belief and synchronicity in one’s life.
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June 30, 2010 at 2:08 am
dr laura schlessinger here: To set my record straight…I NEVER SAID THAT (Leviticus) NOR DO I BELIEVE IT. I get calls every day from straights and gays and I work equally hard to help them with their problems. It is painful to have this repeated daily for a dozen years when it is urban legend. Have a great day. warmly, drl
June 30, 2010 at 11:31 am
Hello Laura,
I’m so glad you wrote and I want people to see your response. I suppose it’s one of the perils of being in the public eye that words can be bandied about so freely regarding what you may or may not have said. I believe you. But, I must say, the response is very, very funny and it does suggest to us all that the decisions we make and the opinions we hold today can be guided by the past, while simultaneously be determined by the current world context in which we live.
I sincerely thank you for your response and I wish upon you a beautiful day. Friendly greetings from New Zealand.
Blessings,
John
July 5, 2010 at 4:20 am
Mr. Haines, your gentle, honest response to Dr. Laura’s denial shows your good character. But you’re right; the humorous biblical quotes are funny compared with modern mores. Some day I hope to visit beautiful, fantastic New Zealand.
July 5, 2010 at 12:41 pm
Thank you for touching in and for your kind words. I trust one day you’ll have the opportunity to visit this fair land.
All the best,
John